How To Be Poor.

Ok, well the sad fact is that most of us already know how to be poor and are succeeding quite nicely. However, for a lot of us, this out of control, downward spiraling economy has kind of slapped us in the face with a whole handful of new budget crises.

Me? I've always been poor! And when the economy began to slump I laughingly told friends and co-workers that NOW my 9th grade education was finally paying off. I mean, ANYONE can waitress or bart end. I never needed any special skills to bring someone a plate of eggs and hash browns, plus there were no student loans to pay back AND if I lost my job...it's not like I'm a specialist. I can work ANYWHERE.

Sadly though, as a person that lives almost entirely off tips ( My last paycheck was $47.00) I began to notice that maybe it was really no laughing matter. Some of my regular customers began to disappear, people began tipping less and even my bosses were having problems making ends meet...Our Christmas bonus last year was a sweatshirt, when every single one of us was waiting with bells on for the $50.00 bill we usually got in our stockings. Disappointment wasn't even the WORD for how we were feeling that day, most of us with last minute purchases and lay-a way items to be picked up.

But, over the last year, I have picked up quite a few tips and tricks to help me get by. Nothing ground breaking, but, at this point, if I find a penny on the ground, no matter which way the head is pointing, it goes right in my pocket!

I wanted to pass on a little bit of what I have learned just in case there are few of you out there who may not yet have this poor thing down pat yet.

First, and this is a big one...this was actually my major downfall... You have to accept the help that is offered. I know it sucks, oh Gods believe me, I do. For those of us who have worked hard our entire lives and prided ourselves on our self sufficience and ingenuity, never taking a hand out or a loan from anyone. I know. Please believe me, I know. The first time I walked into the local DHS office was a disaster. I had tears of defeat streaming down my cheeks. I hadn't worked all my life for THIS. To make matters worse, the worked that took my case decided it would be a good time to lecture me, in a very loud and stern voice about letting my bills get so high.

Well, me, being me...strong willed, stubborn & proud... I stood, leaned over her desk and lectured her right back. I gave her a few tips on how to do her job, a few more tips on where she could go and where she could stuff her attitude. Then I left.

My gas got shut off that next day.

I won't bore you with the entire scenerio, but suffice it to say that if I had stayed, bowed my head and kept quiet, I wouldn't have had two weeks of cold showers and microwavable food to deal with.

Keep a level head, is all I'm saying. It will be hard. Damn near impossible. But think of your children. It may sound cliche but...it will work. Bite your tongue and think of your children.

If you've worked hard all your life to get where you are and you need a little help...be proud of yourself. It doesn't matter what some overpaid beast of a woman who doesn't even KNOW you thinks. Ok?

Let's get down to business, shall we?

First things first:

Food:

If you're one of the proud, this will by far be the hardest thing you have to do, but once it's done you will feel better, I promise. When Junior has cereal in the morning that you couldn't afford to buy...just trust me.

Food assistance programs. These vary from state to state, but I know that some states have their forms on line and the process is simple, even if the wait might seem interminable. If you live in Michigan you will have to go down to the local DHS office (JOY!) and apply in person. Make sure to tell them it is an emergency and that you need food ASAP. If you don't already have a Bridge Card, you will have to wait until the card comes, but you should have a prorated amount of food cash on there immediately. If you already have one, they should be able to load it with your prorated amount in 24 hours.

Below is a list of states that have applications Online:

http://www.fns.usda.gov/FSP/applicant_recipients/apply.htm

Also, a list of hotlines by state, to get information on Food Stamp benefits:

http://www.fns.usda.gov/fsp/contact_info/hotlines.htm

Food bank Locator, Just type in your zipcode & go:

http://feedingamerica.org/foodbank-results.aspx

The link for help applying for WIC (Women, Infants & Children):

http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/howtoapply/whogetswicandhowtoapply.htm

Medical:

Now if you have applied for medicaid in the last few years you have noticed that not only have they been slowly cutting back on their benefits, (Now, medicaid does not cover dental for anyone under 18, etc. ) but there is now a freeze on new applicants in some states, which means they aren't accepting any new applications at the present time. It's horrible, but it's the truth.

If you're anything like me, your credit report is full of notations from Tek-Collect etc. from the last broken bone, bout of pnemonia, strep throat...the list goes on. Because, in reality, hospitals are NOT ALLOWED to turn you away. So, whenever there was a medical issue in my house, it was either at a Vitamin C and Chicken Soup Level or a Let's Visit The E-Room Level. Which says something about my until now dental care. (P.S. Emergency rooms no longer have dentists or oral surgeons o their staff.)

Below is a link for Free Clinics searchable by state.

http://freemedicalcamps.com/

For dental...don't wait until it is too late, like I did. Although, I still have all my own teeth (By the grace of God!!) it was an extremely long and painful process to get to a point where I could eat celery or potato chips again.)

Call your local dental school. Here in Michigan, U of M dental school offers all services at a completely discounted rate (by your income) and even then you can make payment arrangements on what you DO have to pay. And if you're leery of having a dental student work on your teeth, don't be. Believe me when I say they are so very careful about what they are doing inside your mouth, as they are constantly supervised.

Below is a link to the ADA listing dental schools by state, just call up the ones listed in your state and ask them about their low income services.

http://www.ada.org/prof/ed/programs/search_ddsdmd_us.asp

Utilities:

This seems to be our biggest problem. A friend of mine used to have a saying when we were younger... 'If I didn't have to eat or pay utilities, I would be a rich man...' yeah-bob. But, sadly, we all have to do both of those things. No opting out on this one!

Call your utility company!! No if's and's or but's. As soon as you are late, call them, the sooner you do the better off you'll be. And KEEP calling them, even if they do end up shutting you off. Just every few days, call them up, ask them to look through and find out what you have to do to get turned back on. The only reason I say this is that SOMETIMES, you will stumble on a sympathetic ear who, for whatever reason, will keep you on the phone for an hour while trying to worm through the network and find the cheapest way to get you turned back on.

Secondly, go right back up to the DHS and ask them what they can do for you. You have to have a shut off notice, but you do not have to be actually shut off to get assistance. Bonus: As soon as they type your information into the computer and send it through, no matter what, even if they don't help you, there is an automatic 30 day hold on your account, which means you CAN NOT get shut off for at least 30 days.

As soon as they DO help you, you are put on a payment arrangement through the utility company. Try and keep it up and if you CAN'T call them and cancel the arrangement voluntarily. If you don't do this and you default, most energy companies will not let you make another payment arrangement for ONE YEAR!

After you have done that, call 2-1-1 / United Way. Ask them if they have funding for your area. They might not, but they will be able to steer you in the right direction.

Also, if you live in Michigan contact THAW. IF they have funding, they will help you even when DHS can't or already did.

http://www.thawfund.org/

Other:

If you live in the Detroit Area we have a wonderful program that helps during Christmas. You stand in line and they take your information, then you can go through a room full of toys, hats, gloves, scarves and pick what you want for your family for Christmas and then they give you a voucher for food or clothes at Meijer. It is a wonderful program and believe me when I say that there was one Christmas in particular that there would not have BEEN a Christmas without these guys!!!

http://www.oldnewsboysgoodfellows.org/WhosEligibleApplication/tabid/66/Default.aspx

Random Tips:

Use only one dryer sheet per load, you can even cut it in 1/2 to save even more money. It makes absolutely NO difference for your clothes.

Handwash blankets, sheets and pillow cases.

Refill your water bottles (after cleaning them, of course.) throw the caps back on and refrgerate.

Make rice or noodles a staple in your home. Both are inexpensive and if you replace just one side, such a s potatoes, every other day with a rice or noodle dish, you will save about $5.00 a week.

Other than that, for now, I wish you well, and bid you adieu, for I must call the gas company and give them my list of 21 great reasons NOT to shut off my service...AGAIN!