Saturday, August 8, 2009

Rainy Day Blues


Le Sigh. I often wonder what the statistics are for suicide or anti-depressant drugs in Michigan Vs. Any other state that doesn't have crappy weather EVERY DAMN DAY OF THE YEAR. I should look it up, but, I'm lazy today.


It's raining... or is it? It still doesn't know if it really wants to downpour or be just obnoxious enough to trap us all inside. So, sadly, here I am at my computer, while the little monster is busy watching daytime TV. It's something she rarely does, but I still hate it. These worthless programs they show now. Not that she is young enough for Sesame Street or Reading Railroad but there HAS to be something more educational than ICarly... right?


I think it's time for a trip to the library. It's free AND I can get her away from that dratted nastiness called television. Fuelled with coke & peanut M&M's we should just make it.

(I told you I'm a bad mother... that was our rainy day snack.)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Free Diapers?

image 5

Laugh of the Day

Isn't THAT amazing??

I'm a horrible mother...

In case you're wondering, I'm on the right, Le Petite Monstre, on the left.
Now, if I were a normal parent... oh Gods, how many times have I uttered that phrase?
You see, my only excuse is that I'm still a kid myself. Yeah, I'm almost 30, but I got pregnant at 16 and maybe that stunted my growth a little bit. I dunno.
The fact is, if I were a normal parent, I would have grabbed my daughter's hand and kept walking when we saw the street sign, uprooted by the recent construction, on our nightly walk around the neigborhood.
If I were a normal parent I would have acted apalled when she suggested we take it home with us.
If I were a normal parent, I may have even scolded her for suggesting such a thing.
But, I'm not normal, and fortunately or unfortunately, it has been passed down to my daughter.
We walked, we saw, we stole, we ran through the neigborhood giggling like theives (Oh...wait...) .
In reality my ONLY regret is that someone had already stolen the cross street part of the sign, leaving us only Oak. Damn it!
It was too good to pass up, come on!
How's that for mother - daughter bonding?
I'm going to hell, aren't I?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Top Ten phrases to let you know you are losing your mind...


... or that you are just a flustered parent


10. Honey, we don't wash windows with mayonaise.


9. No, officer, I'm sorry for causing a panic, she fell asleep under her toys in the closet. Again. Yes, I did check there. Twice even. Have you seen her closet?


8. Let's not rinse our hands/wash our toys in the dog water dish, ok?


7. It looks great, Baby, but ketchup and mustard are not make up, ok?


6. Yes, they look beautiful, but teddy bears don't need hair cuts.


5. You DO look just like the sprinkler when you do that!


4. Who put my left shoe in the pots and pans?


3. It may seem similar, Darling, but the cat litter box is NOT a sandbox!


2. Yes, those Dora stickers do WONDERS for our entertainment center!


1. Who drank my coffee... Oh God!