Rainy Day Blues

Le Sigh. I often wonder what the statistics are for suicide or anti-depressant drugs in Michigan Vs. Any other state that doesn't have crappy weather EVERY DAMN DAY OF THE YEAR. I should look it up, but, I'm lazy today.

It's raining... or is it? It still doesn't know if it really wants to downpour or be just obnoxious enough to trap us all inside. So, sadly, here I am at my computer, while the little monster is busy watching daytime TV. It's something she rarely does, but I still hate it. These worthless programs they show now. Not that she is young enough for Sesame Street or Reading Railroad but there HAS to be something more educational than ICarly... right?

I think it's time for a trip to the library. It's free AND I can get her away from that dratted nastiness called television. Fuelled with coke & peanut M&M's we should just make it.

(I told you I'm a bad mother... that was our rainy day snack.)

Free Diapers?

Laugh of the Day

Isn't THAT amazing??

I'm a horrible mother...

In case you're wondering, I'm on the right, Le Petite Monstre, on the left.

Now, if I were a normal parent... oh Gods, how many times have I uttered that phrase?

You see, my only excuse is that I'm still a kid myself. Yeah, I'm almost 30, but I got pregnant at 16 and maybe that stunted my growth a little bit. I dunno.

The fact is, if I were a normal parent, I would have grabbed my daughter's hand and kept walking when we saw the street sign, uprooted by the recent construction, on our nightly walk around the neigborhood.

If I were a normal parent I would have acted apalled when she suggested we take it home with us.

If I were a normal parent, I may have even scolded her for suggesting such a thing.

But, I'm not normal, and fortunately or unfortunately, it has been passed down to my daughter.

We walked, we saw, we stole, we ran through the neigborhood giggling like theives (Oh...wait...) .

In reality my ONLY regret is that someone had already stolen the cross street part of the sign, leaving us only Oak. Damn it!

It was too good to pass up, come on!

How's that for mother - daughter bonding?

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

Top Ten phrases to let you know you are losing your mind...

... or that you are just a flustered parent

10. Honey, we don't wash windows with mayonaise.

9. No, officer, I'm sorry for causing a panic, she fell asleep under her toys in the closet. Again. Yes, I did check there. Twice even. Have you seen her closet?

8. Let's not rinse our hands/wash our toys in the dog water dish, ok?

7. It looks great, Baby, but ketchup and mustard are not make up, ok?

6. Yes, they look beautiful, but teddy bears don't need hair cuts.

5. You DO look just like the sprinkler when you do that!

4. Who put my left shoe in the pots and pans?

3. It may seem similar, Darling, but the cat litter box is NOT a sandbox!

2. Yes, those Dora stickers do WONDERS for our entertainment center!

1. Who drank my coffee... Oh God!

How to live through unemployment.

If you're anything like me, the idea of becoming unemployed has never entered your head. As most of you know, I am pretty much a peon. I have a 9th grade education, no skills to speak of and yet I have always been comfortable in the fact that there were endless job opprotunities available to me. I am a waitress/bartender for Gods' sake. In that respect I was always a little cocky. I mean, for the type of work I do, jobs are a dime a dozen and I never thought even the worst economy could hurt me.

What I didn't think of, was something I had mentioned in an earlier post. Not that there are any less jobs out there for people like me, but that there are a lot more people after them. Secondly, as the economy fails, people don't quit going to bars or restaurants completely, but they sure do tip less.

Well, right about July of last year I had the bright idea that I was wasting my time at the job that I had been at for 9 years. It seemed suddenly I wasn't making as much money as I had been in previous years. I blamed the management, my coworkers, etc. But, never even had thought one about our economy.

So, in my spare time I began to pound the pavement, and about a month later I got hired on to a crew that would help open a new restaurant. It was a more fine - dining atmosphere, a place with a bar, in a really great location, and it was corporate so they offerred benefits. It sounded perfect. I gave my notice at work and heaven was mine.

It took me less than two weeks to realize that I had made a grave mistake. Not only was my first paycheck short by about $100.00 ( as were most of the others'.) but in my first week it cost me about $60.00 just to keep gas in my car and pay for parking. The tips I was making were not even covering the costs of getting out to the place, let alone paying my bills.

I understand that opening a restaurant takes time, building a smooth, regular customer base, even more time. The problem wasn't that I didn't have the patience, it was that this was an airport restaurant, which means you are pretty much stuck with whatever happens to be coming through your terminal that day. At DTW there are very few restaurants that you can get to without going through security. To get through security you have to have a boarding pass. Which means, unless the new restaurant was set in the flow of traffic, or traffic was rerouted in some way... it was NEVER going to be profitable.

End of story.

So, I quit. I had to, to save money. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it really was costing me to keep going out there. And that is where my adventure begins!!

I will not bore you with any more details except to say that eventually I had to turn to unemployment. Hating myself the whole time, repeating to myself that it was only temporary, only for a little while. And while that might have been the case, I still almost gave up. Quite a few times I almost just said screw the whole darn thing.

But once I finally did get all my ducks in a row, or rather the unemployment agency got my ducks in a row for me...they paid me retroactively. My first check was 6 weeks worth of unemployment, basically just enough to pay my rent (Thank Gods!) and at that moment was entirely worth it.

The only tip I can give you is to keep going. They don't ask you to jump through too many hoops, but it does take quite awhile. Be patient. I know it hurts to be hoping for money that they say you are entitled to, only to find out it will be yet another two weeks...AGAIN.

The paperwork is in swahili and it's hard to understand when they start talking about 'quarterly earnings' and such. There are people at the office that will help you, if you really can't get through it. Unbelievably enough, the people that I always spoke to were very nice and extremely helpful.

Once you have the approval letter it will tell you what to do. Here in Michigan you have to call an automated system called MARVIN. You have to call on a certain day, between certain times. I don't know if this is the same for each state. But, keep calling. Even if it says you're approved and you don't get a dollar amount, keep calling on your day and time, because for each time you call, you will get paid for those weeks.

I set up an online account here:

https://cwam.unemployment.state.mi.us/UserSignIn/Login.aspx

Now, in doing so, I was able to monitor everything that was happening on my account AND I found something even cooler than that.

My original day to call was every other Wednesday between 3-4 pm. If you use the online service, you don't have to wait until your assigned day, you can file the Monday of the week you are supposed to call between 7 am - 7 pm. Therefore, you get paid earlier, so, if you were to file on Wednesday, you wouldn't get your payment until Friday or Saturday. This way, you can file on Monday and get your payment by Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.

On that website you can change how you want to get paid, direct deposit or debit card and it keeps a running list of your payment dates, payments and how many you have left before you run out.

Also, if you have already run out your first claim, you can go here:

https://cwam.unemployment.state.mi.us/euc/WebContent/Welcome.aspx

Everything is very simple and once you are in the program's system from your original claim, there is nothing else you have to do. Just keep certifying.

I wanted to include a state by state database, also, so if you are having trouble filing or not sure where to file in your state, go here:

http://www.servicelocator.org/OWSLinks.asp

Remember: Don't give up. It WILL pay off. And even if you go back to work before you get your first payment, keep going, they still owe you for the time you weren't working.

Good Luck!!

For all those mommies who write in their spare time...

I know... who has spare time, right?

But, one night I was sitting around once again, dreaming of becoming an author and decided to search the web for publishers.

Oh, I have many 'manuscripts' some dating back as far as 1993 and I always thought it would be fun to see if they are actually good enough to get published. Sadly, I know they are not, nor do I have the time or the patience to edit, edit, edit.

But, I did find this link, and even though I haven't tried them out, everything seems to be pretty much Legit, not like those places that tell you you are getting published, but you have to buy the book...psha!

I just thought some others might be interested in checking it out.

http://www.publishamerica.com/

Cheap Entertainment

Here are a few ways to entertain your Petite Monstre, without breaking the bank.

Flour & Water finger paint.

1 c. flour

1 c. water

2 tsp. salt

Dash of food coloring.

This recipe had saved me, many, many rainy days. It's easy to make, you can throw it away later and not feel guilty and it cleans up easily.

I used to give her a couple of cream cheese containers full of this (Good way to store it also.) and let her wreak havoc on my kitchen table.

Sheet Tent.

This one was a favorite while my daughter was growing up.

Take the biggest sheet you have and stretch it from the dresser, where you shut it in one of the middle drawers, the the bed where you tuck it between the matress and the boxspring.

BAM!

It's an instant fort.

Heart Shaped Food.

This was another one my daughter loved.

If you don't have a heart shaped cookie cutter, don't worry, seriously. Just cut the food with a knife to the best of your ability. At 4 years old, they could care less if their heat shaped grilled cheese is a little lop sided.

Good foods to try this on are sandwiches, pancakes, waffles, even pop tarts.

Dye Eggs.

Believe me, it's not just for Easter anymore. Again, at 4 years old, they have no idea about systems and holidays and all that stuff. We used to dye eggs regularly, sometimes using crayons to make crazy designs, sometimes double dipping to make an egg two different colors, etc. It's cheap and it has never failed me to keep my monster entertained for an hour or so.

Vinegar

Food Coloring

Play Dress Up.

If it's that time of year that you are wanting to clean out your closets, maybe see if those jeans from high school still fit... take the kid with you. EVERY child loves to dress in mommy's or daddy's clothes. And you can make it a double affair, clean & play at the same time. How cool is that?

HEY!!!!!

Guess whose crazy???
Yeah... It's ME!

A little something I threw together...

In honor of all those forgotten....

Something a little different...

If you're from Detroit then you will recognize Tiger Stadium right away. This was something I put together with some footage I got while they were tearing it down.

How To Be Poor.

Ok, well the sad fact is that most of us already know how to be poor and are succeeding quite nicely. However, for a lot of us, this out of control, downward spiraling economy has kind of slapped us in the face with a whole handful of new budget crises.

Me? I've always been poor! And when the economy began to slump I laughingly told friends and co-workers that NOW my 9th grade education was finally paying off. I mean, ANYONE can waitress or bart end. I never needed any special skills to bring someone a plate of eggs and hash browns, plus there were no student loans to pay back AND if I lost my job...it's not like I'm a specialist. I can work ANYWHERE.

Sadly though, as a person that lives almost entirely off tips ( My last paycheck was $47.00) I began to notice that maybe it was really no laughing matter. Some of my regular customers began to disappear, people began tipping less and even my bosses were having problems making ends meet...Our Christmas bonus last year was a sweatshirt, when every single one of us was waiting with bells on for the $50.00 bill we usually got in our stockings. Disappointment wasn't even the WORD for how we were feeling that day, most of us with last minute purchases and lay-a way items to be picked up.

But, over the last year, I have picked up quite a few tips and tricks to help me get by. Nothing ground breaking, but, at this point, if I find a penny on the ground, no matter which way the head is pointing, it goes right in my pocket!

I wanted to pass on a little bit of what I have learned just in case there are few of you out there who may not yet have this poor thing down pat yet.

First, and this is a big one...this was actually my major downfall... You have to accept the help that is offered. I know it sucks, oh Gods believe me, I do. For those of us who have worked hard our entire lives and prided ourselves on our self sufficience and ingenuity, never taking a hand out or a loan from anyone. I know. Please believe me, I know. The first time I walked into the local DHS office was a disaster. I had tears of defeat streaming down my cheeks. I hadn't worked all my life for THIS. To make matters worse, the worked that took my case decided it would be a good time to lecture me, in a very loud and stern voice about letting my bills get so high.

Well, me, being me...strong willed, stubborn & proud... I stood, leaned over her desk and lectured her right back. I gave her a few tips on how to do her job, a few more tips on where she could go and where she could stuff her attitude. Then I left.

My gas got shut off that next day.

I won't bore you with the entire scenerio, but suffice it to say that if I had stayed, bowed my head and kept quiet, I wouldn't have had two weeks of cold showers and microwavable food to deal with.

Keep a level head, is all I'm saying. It will be hard. Damn near impossible. But think of your children. It may sound cliche but...it will work. Bite your tongue and think of your children.

If you've worked hard all your life to get where you are and you need a little help...be proud of yourself. It doesn't matter what some overpaid beast of a woman who doesn't even KNOW you thinks. Ok?

Let's get down to business, shall we?

First things first:

Food:

If you're one of the proud, this will by far be the hardest thing you have to do, but once it's done you will feel better, I promise. When Junior has cereal in the morning that you couldn't afford to buy...just trust me.

Food assistance programs. These vary from state to state, but I know that some states have their forms on line and the process is simple, even if the wait might seem interminable. If you live in Michigan you will have to go down to the local DHS office (JOY!) and apply in person. Make sure to tell them it is an emergency and that you need food ASAP. If you don't already have a Bridge Card, you will have to wait until the card comes, but you should have a prorated amount of food cash on there immediately. If you already have one, they should be able to load it with your prorated amount in 24 hours.

Below is a list of states that have applications Online:

http://www.fns.usda.gov/FSP/applicant_recipients/apply.htm

Also, a list of hotlines by state, to get information on Food Stamp benefits:

http://www.fns.usda.gov/fsp/contact_info/hotlines.htm

Food bank Locator, Just type in your zipcode & go:

http://feedingamerica.org/foodbank-results.aspx

The link for help applying for WIC (Women, Infants & Children):

http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/howtoapply/whogetswicandhowtoapply.htm

Medical:

Now if you have applied for medicaid in the last few years you have noticed that not only have they been slowly cutting back on their benefits, (Now, medicaid does not cover dental for anyone under 18, etc. ) but there is now a freeze on new applicants in some states, which means they aren't accepting any new applications at the present time. It's horrible, but it's the truth.

If you're anything like me, your credit report is full of notations from Tek-Collect etc. from the last broken bone, bout of pnemonia, strep throat...the list goes on. Because, in reality, hospitals are NOT ALLOWED to turn you away. So, whenever there was a medical issue in my house, it was either at a Vitamin C and Chicken Soup Level or a Let's Visit The E-Room Level. Which says something about my until now dental care. (P.S. Emergency rooms no longer have dentists or oral surgeons o their staff.)

Below is a link for Free Clinics searchable by state.

http://freemedicalcamps.com/

For dental...don't wait until it is too late, like I did. Although, I still have all my own teeth (By the grace of God!!) it was an extremely long and painful process to get to a point where I could eat celery or potato chips again.)

Call your local dental school. Here in Michigan, U of M dental school offers all services at a completely discounted rate (by your income) and even then you can make payment arrangements on what you DO have to pay. And if you're leery of having a dental student work on your teeth, don't be. Believe me when I say they are so very careful about what they are doing inside your mouth, as they are constantly supervised.

Below is a link to the ADA listing dental schools by state, just call up the ones listed in your state and ask them about their low income services.

http://www.ada.org/prof/ed/programs/search_ddsdmd_us.asp

Utilities:

This seems to be our biggest problem. A friend of mine used to have a saying when we were younger... 'If I didn't have to eat or pay utilities, I would be a rich man...' yeah-bob. But, sadly, we all have to do both of those things. No opting out on this one!

Call your utility company!! No if's and's or but's. As soon as you are late, call them, the sooner you do the better off you'll be. And KEEP calling them, even if they do end up shutting you off. Just every few days, call them up, ask them to look through and find out what you have to do to get turned back on. The only reason I say this is that SOMETIMES, you will stumble on a sympathetic ear who, for whatever reason, will keep you on the phone for an hour while trying to worm through the network and find the cheapest way to get you turned back on.

Secondly, go right back up to the DHS and ask them what they can do for you. You have to have a shut off notice, but you do not have to be actually shut off to get assistance. Bonus: As soon as they type your information into the computer and send it through, no matter what, even if they don't help you, there is an automatic 30 day hold on your account, which means you CAN NOT get shut off for at least 30 days.

As soon as they DO help you, you are put on a payment arrangement through the utility company. Try and keep it up and if you CAN'T call them and cancel the arrangement voluntarily. If you don't do this and you default, most energy companies will not let you make another payment arrangement for ONE YEAR!

After you have done that, call 2-1-1 / United Way. Ask them if they have funding for your area. They might not, but they will be able to steer you in the right direction.

Also, if you live in Michigan contact THAW. IF they have funding, they will help you even when DHS can't or already did.

http://www.thawfund.org/

Other:

If you live in the Detroit Area we have a wonderful program that helps during Christmas. You stand in line and they take your information, then you can go through a room full of toys, hats, gloves, scarves and pick what you want for your family for Christmas and then they give you a voucher for food or clothes at Meijer. It is a wonderful program and believe me when I say that there was one Christmas in particular that there would not have BEEN a Christmas without these guys!!!

http://www.oldnewsboysgoodfellows.org/WhosEligibleApplication/tabid/66/Default.aspx

Random Tips:

Use only one dryer sheet per load, you can even cut it in 1/2 to save even more money. It makes absolutely NO difference for your clothes.

Handwash blankets, sheets and pillow cases.

Refill your water bottles (after cleaning them, of course.) throw the caps back on and refrgerate.

Make rice or noodles a staple in your home. Both are inexpensive and if you replace just one side, such a s potatoes, every other day with a rice or noodle dish, you will save about $5.00 a week.

Other than that, for now, I wish you well, and bid you adieu, for I must call the gas company and give them my list of 21 great reasons NOT to shut off my service...AGAIN!

For just over $6.00 I found heaven!

I hate bathrooms. I really do. Mommys back me up here...

They are the smallest rooms in the house, the easiest to clean and yet, the one's I hate cleaning the most. I think it's because there is always so much stuff to move around. Hand soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste from the sink. Towels and cologne from the back of the toilet, shampoo, conditioner, soap, loofas, razors from the edges of the tub.

Arg!

Well a couple of years ago, I had the brilliant idea to buy an over the shower head hanger to keep all the stuff in one place at least. I got it home only to realize that not only would it not hold all my stuff, but that it impeded the hose of my detachable shower head and it was constanly getting in my way. Damn!

So, I switched out all of our bar soap with the smaller hand soap dispensers. I keep body wash in the one in the tub, hand soap in the one on the sink. That helped... some. but my bathroom still seemed cluttered and ... just unfriendly to me.

I pretty much gave my bathroom up as one of the places I would always hate.

But, the other day I was wandering through the aisles at Wal Mart, browsing, not shoppng really, because no matter how cheap it is, I STILL can't afford it... when I found... my new best friend.

A self hanging corner shower caddy. Oh, this was too good to pass up. There were many to choose from, ranging from $6.88 to $19.99. I had my doubts about the cheapest one, it looked a little flimsy and only hung by double sided sticky tape. But, seeing as how I'm broke, I had to try it. I HAD to! Six bucks is a small price to pay for a little bit of sanity.

So, I bought it, thinking I would be running back to Wal Mart the next day to return the defective product... but, it's perfect.

I had to wait 24 hours before I could put anything on it and in these 24 hours I must have made 20 extra trips into the bathroom to see my new toy, to yank on it and test it's strength and to imagine all the possibilities of having a non cluttered tub.

Finally, finally after about 19 hours, I could wait no longer, damn the torpedoes, I'm going in!

I set on my shelf, one family sized bottle of shampoo, one family sized bottle of conditioner, two bottles of scented body wash, one loofa and two razors. Then I waited anxiously for the structure to topple and my bath products to go tumbling into the tub. And I waited...and waited.

It never happened. Here, a week later, my good $6.88 buddy is still going strong and my tub is now uncluttered and easy to clean.

Can this be for real? I thought this kind of joy only happened in Lifetime movies!!!

Diet Tips.

Hello, everyone!

I just thought I would post a couple of dieting tips that have helped me lately. These aren't things that are going to help you lose a whole lot of weight, but if you're like me, it's all about those damn 5 lbs.

For real. I'm a little person, I have a little frame. So 5 lbs. on me may look like 20 lbs. on someone with a larger frame. I seem to have aquired this 5 lbs. seemingly over night and sadly, it's taken much longer to lose it.

If I could afford a membership to the gym, it wouldn't be a problem, but no matter what they tell you, they still try and suck you dry the moment you walk in.

And, yeah, it's summer... I could be out walking or running or playing tennis. And I do... but I have a very short attention span. After three days of doing the same thing over and over again...I'm over it.

And I HATE the idea of dieting. I HATE it. It's torture.

So, my solution was either to get rid of all my clothes and buy new ones...which, of course, I can't afford, or come to some sort of compromise with my metabolism.

This is what I did. I just adjusted my diet SLIGHTLY.

First things first, I cut out the munching while lying on the couch reading. This is a horrible 'comfort' habit I picked up when my daughter first started school. Yeah, 8 years ago.

I didn't quit completely, I still allow myself ONE evening in which to munch on the couch, but on these evenings I make sure that I have eaten completely healthy that day. It's a give and take.

Next, I stepped up breakfast. Now, I'm not one for breakfast, I never have been, but it IS a proven fact that if you eat in the morning you lose weight. The reason is that it jump starts your metablism and gets it moving.

So, my normal breakfast is an apple and an english muffin or bagel with cream cheese.

Don't shy away from calories in the morning. They are good for you. They're what your body gets energy from. So in the morning and even at lunch, GET CALORIES, just not the bad ones.

Of course about two hours later I am hungry again. I am a bear for bagels and english muffins so I usually allow myself another.

About two hours after that, I eat another apple or two. The reason I keep mentioning apples is that not only are they good for you but they actually HELP your body lose weight.

For lunch I usually have a dry grilled cheese with mustard. It's easy to make, toast the bread in the toaster, slap on some mustard and cheese and VOILA. I only eat a cheese sandwich because I am a vegetarian, if you are NOT go ahead and eat a ham sandwich or salami, just go light on the mayo.

I have substituted the potato chips I would normally eat with my sandwich for pretzels, which yes, are loaded with carbs but very little, if any fat.

Then as a snack later I eat more pretzels. Sometimes I dip them in mustard. I like mustard, plus it's fat free.

Then I will normally make a salad of some sort. I don't skimp on it, I do it whole hog... cheese, onions, ranch dressing.

Then I have a normal dinner. I don't worry about it, because I've been good all day. Although I usually forgo the huge glass of milk I would normally drink on the side. I was one a gallon a day milk drinker... I love milk & dairy, that's why I will never be a veegan. Le Sigh.

It's been worth it, though. I'm down the 5 lbs and my clothes are all starting to look more natural on me again.

I figured if it worked for me, it may work for some of you out there, too. I hope it does.

The one thing to remember, though is don't NOT eat. If you do that, your body will store any fat you give it because it thinks it's starving. So, you MUST EAT. Just starting your day with an apple or a bowl of ceral should boost your metabolism enough to enable you to lose up to 2 lbs. a week.

Just a fun fact.

Good Luck!

Sometimes...

... You just get distracted. Especially at work. Maybe someone should get this guy a cup of coffee.


Get hot images here

Really???

Get hot images here

Cheap Ways to Organize.

Tupperware IS the answer!

Small tupperware type containers can be found at Family Dollar & Dollar General for... you guessed it...about a dollar. Depending on their size, of course.

These little plastic boxes have saved my life and the lives of others living with me more than once, you can believe it.

They are great for storing and stacking. If you open my linen closet today you will find shelves full of these little beauties, all chock full of extra goodies.

I keep hair ties in one.

Razors in another.

Extra toothbrushes & toothpaste.

Boxes of Medicine.

Q-Tips.

Feminine Hygene Products.

Nail Polish.

The list goes on and on...but my linen closet is in perfect OCD harmony and that is what matters! :)

Right now is the perfect time to go out and pick up about a dozen or so of those neat plastic pencil boxes. At Meijer they are currently going for .39 cents. These can be used quite the same as the other boxes, but at better shaped for things like:

Extra Pens.

Dryer Sheets.

Cancelled Checks/New Checks.

Envelopes/Stamps.

Extra Printer Cartridges (Or the ones waiting to be refilled).

Coupons.

Paper Clips.

The slightly larger ones have their uses, too.

These go for about $2.00 - $3.00.

Great for:

Phone Chargers.

USB Cables.

Paint Brushes.

Sponges.

Rags.

Then we come to the heavy duty artillery.

5 Gallon Buckets.

If you have pets like I do, these nifty containers are a life saver!

You can usually go to any small diner and ask them if they have any to spare and offer to buy them. I have been given some for free and charged for some around $2.00. You can also buy them at the local home improvement store for about $5.00.

I use them for:

Pet Food & Cat Litter

and it eliminates all the messy bags that seem to break open and spill, usually when you are ina hurry.

AND they are stackable!

Tip:

A 17-20 lb. bag of food or litter usually tops off one of these buckets.

Pre-Baby Checklist.

For those of you who have no idea what you're doing. Quite like most new mothers.

It seems everyone in the whole round world is full of advice and yeah, it gets tiring as all heck, I dig it. But, at the same time, some of this advice is warranted. Most of it isn't, I'll admit it, but some of it is helpful.

I just thought I would throw together a Pre-Baby Checklist for those of you who are first timers and add some things that you may not have thought of.

JIC (Just In Case.)

For Mommy:

This is the last time (for a great many years anyway!) that you will be able to put yourself first. Take advantage of it.

Hair ties.

By the time your baby is out of diapers Goody will probably be sending you Thank You letters. No seriously. Hair ties are an absolute necessity.

A) It's easy to hide bed head, supposing you have to run out in the middle of the night. This will happen, no matter how well prepared you are, get used to it.

B) Nothing is more frustrating than getting all cozy, nice and relaxed with your little one only to have the hair continuously yanked from your scalp by the super small handful.

C) Seriously, you don't want to miss a stray hair here and there only to realize that it has somehow made it's way into Junior's mouth. Ew.

I was told by everyone I knew to cut my long hair. Um, noooo. I just bought hair ties.

Comfy P.J.s & Slippers.

This was something I never even thought of before I went in to have my daughter. It never even entered my MIND that I was going to be in the hospital for three days wearing nothing but a nifty open-backed johnnie. Mmm-Mmm, sexy. Thankfully my grandmother thought ahead and dropped me off a nightgown and some slippers. Had she not, I assume the bathing classes I took would have been much more similar to a mommy-daddy show & tell.

The fact is that you will spend some time in the hospital even if it is just one or two nights. Vanity plays a key part in all of this, of course, but let's face it, at this point our self esteem is probably not at it's peak, so any little thing we can do to help ourselves out is a plus. Since this will be the first post-baby article of clothing you will wear, buy something mid way between your old size and your new size.

TIP: Hit The Thrift Store

Spend at least one day splurging a little bit on a couple of post-baby outfits. This is a necessity on two levels.

First: If you come home and try and squeeze right back into your old size 2 Calvin Kleins...it won't work. All you will do is end up on your bed, pants stuck about mid-thigh, crying and telling anyone who will listen how fat you are.

Second: It will give you an opportunity to go clothes shopping, which we all love! Yay!

Again, buy something either elastic or in a mid-way size.

I bought quite a few of those nylon running outfits in a medium and that way I could still dress like a human and look kind of cute, but I wasn't constantly cutting off the circulation in certain places. A couple of dresses may be good, especially if it is summer. Sun dresses are spectacular at being able to hide a little extra weight, AND contain a high cuteness factor.

Sports Bras.

If you are not planning on breast feeding these are essential. I suppose there is a pill to help your milk dry up after you give birth. I didn't know about it after I had my daughter and no one offered it to me. However, even so, there is an acute tenderness directly after you have a child, simply because your breasts are now much larger than they were before. (well, mine were, How I miss them :( ... )

These are great because they keep you in place no matter what you are doing and minimize the pain factor.

Bath Salts.

I only throw this one in there because I am a long, hot bath person, myself. After you give birth it is recommended that you not take a bath for SIX WEEKS! This might be common knowledge by now, what with the internet and all, however when I was pregnant this was one of the 'Atermath Scenerios' that no one clued me in on.

So, take all the baths you can now. Especially if you will be raising Junior on your own, because believe it, there won't be a solitary bath period for a long, long time. So, throw on some tunes, or grab a book and soak it up, literally.

For Baby:

Tip: Stock Up.

Take inventory of everything you have for your upcoming arrival. 20 recieving blankets, 15 onesies, 10 packs of diapers...

Now triple it.

When Princess Poopy Pants first arrived I thought I had the whole thing under control, what I didn't do is the simple math.

There are 24 hours in a day, on average a newborn will sleep 12 of it...but, here's the kicker...he/she only sleeps for about an hour & a half to three hours at a time. To err on the side of safety, lets say Junior is dead on about his two hour mark, for mommy, this means waking up every two hours, fixing a bottle and changing at least ONE diaper, sleeper, blanket, etc.

Now, unless you will be able to do laundry once a day, these numbers are looking pretty bleak.

When my daughter was born I could only do laundry once a week, at the laundromat no less. It was not only a big, giant pain in the ass, but have you ever tried juggling an infant, a handful of change and two baskets of laundry? It's NOT my idea of a good time, and probably not yours either.

This is another time to hit the thrift store. Yes, I know that your new baby is SO important and you want only the best for them.

The newest most high tech car seat. Check!

The cutest, softest outfits. Check!

Brand new bottles with Baby Eyore on the sides. Check!

And yes, at your shower you probably got packs and packs of recieving blankets, it may have even been laughable then, but it won't be later. Because these blankets aren't just for baby anymore. They are wonder mom's all purpose tool.

These are the most useful things you will ever find. They're great for burp towels, floor mats, if you want to set junior on the floor beside you while you do yoga.

Yes, there are also many different other types of things you could use. There are actual burp towels, which are about $2.50 each. There are warm and cuddly larger blankets on which to set the baby which go for Gods Know How Much. But in the larger scheme of things, do you really want to continuously be washing one or two or three much larger blankets? Especially since for the moment, Junior isn't able to move around too much, he won't need that much room.

Ok, so what I did...only after my daughter was born(Hindsight and all that.) was use the new blankets, the ones that I had bought or gotten from my shower and those were used for swaddling specifically. Then I went out to the thrift store and bought about 20 more, none costing more than .70 cents and THESE were my all purpose, can be ruined and I won't care blankets.

Onesies.

Hit the thrift store for onesies also. These again are something of immeasurable importance. Do the math problem again. You'll see.

Socks.

It seems you can never have enough of these, only because washers and dryers don't particularly care for them. As in 6 pair go in and 4 pair come out...and the last four pair consist of mostly the bastard mates of the lost socks. It's never ending.

Socks are another thing I would suggest for the thrift store, simply because they WILL get lost. Why pay almost a buck a pair for something that not only your baby will grow out of in a month or so, but that may not even be around THAT long?

Diapers.

If you plan on using cloth diapers I applaud you. I couldn't do this because as I said, I was only able to do laundry once a week, and who has time to hand wash ANYTHING at this point! Or so I thought then.

But, if you are, that's GREAT. Make sure you have about 40. The easiest way to go about this is to change Junior, feed him, play with him and once he goes down for his nap, immediately wash the diaper. Bleach and liquid laundry detergent are a must!

If you are using disposable diapers...well, let's keep that math problem in mind. 12-20 diapers a day. It all depends really.

Now, when my daughter was a baby, she had a very sensitive bottom. There was no use even TRYING to put her in the lesser expensive diapers. She could wear one or two, but anything more than that and she would begin turning red down there. I don't know if it was the diapers themselves or her tender little bottom.

But, I did figure out a little bit of a cheaper way to go about this. I would buy one pack of the Fitti diapers and one pack of the Huggies or Pampers and I would change it up. Every two or three changes I would put her in one of the Fittis.

You could also do this with cloth diapers. Every two or three changes, switch it up and you will be saving about $10.00 a week, and that is a low estimate.

Regardless, keep that math problem in your head. 12-20 diapers a day. We'll say 105 diapers a week which will be about $30.00. No, it doesn't sound like a whole lot, until we start talking about the fact that Junior most likely won't be potty trained for AT LEAST 50 weeks. At LEAST. Think about it.

http://www.greendiary.com/entry/how-harmful-are-disposable-diapers-to-your-baby-and-the-environment/

Ok, on to better things.

Pacifiers.

I hate these things. Now. Back when my daughter was born, I didn't know any better. They gave me two at the hospital and I just kinda rolled with them. After that our pacifier habit was up to two a week.

If you will be employing the help of a pacifier, I would suggest stocking maybe 6 or so, just in case.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pacifiers/pr00067

Baby Nail Clippers.

These are an essential yet often forgotten item. Baby's nails grow fast and to avoid them scratching their own poor little faces, or even yours, in their sleep, you must stay on top of the finger nail grooming. Yes, they have the little mittens to put over their hands, but using those things to me, alwas seemed like torture. Just saying. Although they MIGHT be necessary. I used my daughter's mittens one time and couldn't put them back on her. Plus, she hated them.

Hats.

My daughter never would keep one on. As soon as she was able she would reach right up and yank off the offending hood and drop it on the floor. But, it's super important to keep Baby's head warm, so if you can swing it...swing it.

For the Home.

Liquid Laundry Soap.

I say this not only because you will need it to do the 14,000,000 loads of laundry you will do over the next few years, but because it's a quick fix in some situations. Say you spill, or baby spills something on your shirt, her shirt, anyone's shirt...or pants...or both.

Just fill your sink with warm water and a few drops of liquid soap and toss the garment in to let it soak.

Also good for carpets. If you don't have a carpet cleaner, just mix 32 oz of wam water to 1/8 cup of liquid detergent, wet the stain, let soak, blot up. There should be no scrubbing necessary if you hit it pretty quickly. I used to keep a spray bottle of this mixture under my sink just in case.

Oh, who am I lyin' to. I still keep this under my sink.

Tip: The best laundry soap isn't always the most expensive.

As sensitive as my daughter was, we never had a problem with our laundry soap. I hear a lot of soaps claim that their product is best for Baby's skin, etc. etc. but, personally, and I tried them all, I never saw a difference.

I will drop you a list of laundry soaps since I have learned over a large trial and error period what works and what doesn't. And I mean WORKS, as in actually cleans your clothes.

Tide.

We all have used Tide at one time or another. And yes, it works. Great. It makes your clothes smell wonderful and it gets the clean. However, for most working mothers, buying a bottle of Tide is akin to taking that much needed vacation to Cancun.

Out of our reach.

Purex.

This is about 1/2 the cost of Tide and works just as well. Plus they have a new 'Naturals' product which is supposedly good for the environtment and smells hella' good.

Arm & Hammer.

This is the soap that I use. The liquid, never the powder, for the powder doesn't like to disolve in cold water. It is even cheaper than Purex and also gets your clothes clean. There is very little scent after the wash is done, but we're paying for clean. Right?

Again, you may require a trial and error period to find out if each of these soaps may be compatible with Baby's skin. I never had a problem with any of them.

I would suggest stocking up on a good 3 or 4 bottles, just to be on the safe side. If you do find out later that the soap is creating a rash on Baby and you have all this laundry detergent to spare... Do this.

Presoak all Baby's clothes in a tub filled with warm water and laundry soap and then when it is time to wash...about an hour or so... do the laundry with no soap. It works, I'm not lying. That way the washer rinses away the soap residue AND any stains on the clothes.

Coupons!!!

Every one likes to save money.

Here are my favorite coupon sites.

Some will ask you to download a coupon printer, it takes a minute but is very worth it!!

http://www.printcouponsonline.net/coupons.html

http://www.couponmom.com/

Purina Pet Food Coupons:

http://www.giveabowl.com/home.aspx?LI=1

You will be asked to fill out a survey, but it is good for $3.50 off a bag of your choice of pet food. I have used multiple friend's computers and printed out a handful of these. They really come in handy.

http://www.momsview.com/deals.shtml

A little something I threw together...

In honor of all those forgotten....

Free Stuff!!!

Free Enfamil Certificate.

http://www.enfamil.com/app/iwp/enfamil/certificate.do?dm=enf&id=/Consumer_Home2/Enf_Tools_Resources/Enf_Programs_Offers/NGARsample&iwpst=B2C&ls=0&csred=1&r=3426006866

Free Subscription to American Baby Magazine.

https://secure.parents.com/bhg/store/checkout/partner/%3Bjsessionid%3DMOQC3AAMMBM0ACQCEARR42Q?promoCode=I710VNW02&DPSLogout=true&_requestid=19663

A Plethora of Free Stuff to Choose From.

https://secure.parents.com/bhg/store/checkout/partner/%3Bjsessionid%3DMOQC3AAMMBM0ACQCEARR42Q?promoCode=I710VNW02&DPSLogout=true&_requestid=19663

Welcome To Working Mommy!

This blog is something I have contmplated working on for an extremely long time, but... as a working mother it seemed that there weren't enough hours in the day to do what I already had to do, what with working, cleaning, feeding, changing, bathing, feeding, cleaning, potty training, feeding, cleaning, ad nauseum...well you get the picture... let alone to start a blog.

Then again if you're reading this you more than likely already HAD the picture, probably about two seconds after your sanity had indeed made that infamous left in Albequerque. Well, let me tell you, I've spent 12 wonderful years in mommyland and that sanity thing, well, you learn to live without it. Firstly, it's terribly overrated. Secondly, it only hinders your progress.

No, I'm serious! What sane person passes their day at work by singing about pants wearing, sea living sponges or the way the mail makes you feel like wagging your tail? You know you've done this, admit it and move on, it's a mile stone.

So, you eventually discover that the tighter you try to hold onto your sanity, the more elusive it becomes. It's a small battle and you'll lose. Let go. No worries.

Anyhow, as I was saying, my wonderful, one man sanity prevention team (my daughter.) is 12 now and it seems suddenly that I have all this time to myself. Not that it's gotten any easier, don't go getting that idea. No, ma'am. It just seems that now there are actually these huge blocks of time that I have no one tugging on my pants, trying to give the pets haircuts, painting their room with kitchen condiments, using my good sheets as mural boards, trying to sled down the stairs... well, you see? It's almost BORING now.

That is not to say that I do not still have to stay on my toes, oh gods no. There are issues a plenty! Boys and parties and friends and dates and ... we won't go into it just now, since I want to keep this blog lighthearted, but it's like learning to be a mommy all over again, only instead of this little person being completely dependent on you, they are trying to become completely independent... and you only have to pick up the pieces. Le Sigh.

Anyhow, so now that I have these huge windows of time, (Look, 15 minutes is HUGE to me, ok? MONUMENTAL, in fact!) I decided to actually start this blog and hopefully offer some helpful tips and or advice about things that I learned while my daughter was growing up.

For quite awhile I was a single mother and even to this day there is a shoe string budget on which we live, but I look back on those years and I simply HAVE to pat myself on the back for the simple ingenuity I maintined during crisis situations. There were times back then that I thought one more thing, just one more thing would be enough to do me in, I was at my wits end. But, there was ALWAYS one more thing and it NEVER did me in.

That is not to say I didn't spend my fair share of time in the bathroom throwing full blown temper tantrums... I am just saying that I made it through and most importantly the wonderful creature that I had a hand in creating made it through as well.

She is now a slightly skewed, but well rounded and creative individual for which I give thanks every day at least a million times.

But, no, I am not out of the woods yet, far from it actually, we still have driving ahead of us, among other things that I shall not mention just yet.

However, there have been twelve years of dollar stretching, creative thinking, fast talking, smiling no matter what that I learned more than I ever thought possible. I am starting this blog in hopes that I can share that knowledge with mommies everywhere in an effort to take even just a little of the stress out of their day to day schedule.

In the following weeks and months I am going to try and add as much as possible that may aid your every day mommy in any way possible. Tips on how not to kill anyone, secrets I learned about keeping toddlers busy on a budget, ways to organize and keep the house looking semi-clean and neat, tricks about dieting(which is a crock!) and exercise, ways to reward yourself, even when you feel like you can't.

I hope this helps. As mommies we need all the help we can get!