Saturday, August 8, 2009

Rainy Day Blues

Le Sigh. I often wonder what the statistics are for suicide or anti-depressant drugs in Michigan Vs. Any other state that doesn't have crappy weather EVERY DAMN DAY OF THE YEAR. I should look it up, but, I'm lazy today.

It's raining... or is it? It still doesn't know if it really wants to downpour or be just obnoxious enough to trap us all inside. So, sadly, here I am at my computer, while the little monster is busy watching daytime TV. It's something she rarely does, but I still hate it. These worthless programs they show now. Not that she is young enough for Sesame Street or Reading Railroad but there HAS to be something more educational than ICarly... right?

I think it's time for a trip to the library. It's free AND I can get her away from that dratted nastiness called television. Fuelled with coke & peanut M&M's we should just make it.

(I told you I'm a bad mother... that was our rainy day snack.)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Free Diapers?

image 5

Laugh of the Day

Isn't THAT amazing??

I'm a horrible mother...

In case you're wondering, I'm on the right, Le Petite Monstre, on the left.
Now, if I were a normal parent... oh Gods, how many times have I uttered that phrase?
You see, my only excuse is that I'm still a kid myself. Yeah, I'm almost 30, but I got pregnant at 16 and maybe that stunted my growth a little bit. I dunno.
The fact is, if I were a normal parent, I would have grabbed my daughter's hand and kept walking when we saw the street sign, uprooted by the recent construction, on our nightly walk around the neigborhood.
If I were a normal parent I would have acted apalled when she suggested we take it home with us.
If I were a normal parent, I may have even scolded her for suggesting such a thing.
But, I'm not normal, and fortunately or unfortunately, it has been passed down to my daughter.
We walked, we saw, we stole, we ran through the neigborhood giggling like theives (Oh...wait...) .
In reality my ONLY regret is that someone had already stolen the cross street part of the sign, leaving us only Oak. Damn it!
It was too good to pass up, come on!
How's that for mother - daughter bonding?
I'm going to hell, aren't I?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Top Ten phrases to let you know you are losing your mind...

... or that you are just a flustered parent

10. Honey, we don't wash windows with mayonaise.

9. No, officer, I'm sorry for causing a panic, she fell asleep under her toys in the closet. Again. Yes, I did check there. Twice even. Have you seen her closet?

8. Let's not rinse our hands/wash our toys in the dog water dish, ok?

7. It looks great, Baby, but ketchup and mustard are not make up, ok?

6. Yes, they look beautiful, but teddy bears don't need hair cuts.

5. You DO look just like the sprinkler when you do that!

4. Who put my left shoe in the pots and pans?

3. It may seem similar, Darling, but the cat litter box is NOT a sandbox!

2. Yes, those Dora stickers do WONDERS for our entertainment center!

1. Who drank my coffee... Oh God!

Friday, July 31, 2009

How to live through unemployment.

If you're anything like me, the idea of becoming unemployed has never entered your head. As most of you know, I am pretty much a peon. I have a 9th grade education, no skills to speak of and yet I have always been comfortable in the fact that there were endless job opprotunities available to me. I am a waitress/bartender for Gods' sake. In that respect I was always a little cocky. I mean, for the type of work I do, jobs are a dime a dozen and I never thought even the worst economy could hurt me.

What I didn't think of, was something I had mentioned in an earlier post. Not that there are any less jobs out there for people like me, but that there are a lot more people after them. Secondly, as the economy fails, people don't quit going to bars or restaurants completely, but they sure do tip less.

Well, right about July of last year I had the bright idea that I was wasting my time at the job that I had been at for 9 years. It seemed suddenly I wasn't making as much money as I had been in previous years. I blamed the management, my coworkers, etc. But, never even had thought one about our economy.

So, in my spare time I began to pound the pavement, and about a month later I got hired on to a crew that would help open a new restaurant. It was a more fine - dining atmosphere, a place with a bar, in a really great location, and it was corporate so they offerred benefits. It sounded perfect. I gave my notice at work and heaven was mine.

It took me less than two weeks to realize that I had made a grave mistake. Not only was my first paycheck short by about $100.00 ( as were most of the others'.) but in my first week it cost me about $60.00 just to keep gas in my car and pay for parking. The tips I was making were not even covering the costs of getting out to the place, let alone paying my bills.

I understand that opening a restaurant takes time, building a smooth, regular customer base, even more time. The problem wasn't that I didn't have the patience, it was that this was an airport restaurant, which means you are pretty much stuck with whatever happens to be coming through your terminal that day. At DTW there are very few restaurants that you can get to without going through security. To get through security you have to have a boarding pass. Which means, unless the new restaurant was set in the flow of traffic, or traffic was rerouted in some way... it was NEVER going to be profitable.

End of story.

So, I quit. I had to, to save money. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it really was costing me to keep going out there. And that is where my adventure begins!!

I will not bore you with any more details except to say that eventually I had to turn to unemployment. Hating myself the whole time, repeating to myself that it was only temporary, only for a little while. And while that might have been the case, I still almost gave up. Quite a few times I almost just said screw the whole darn thing.

But once I finally did get all my ducks in a row, or rather the unemployment agency got my ducks in a row for me...they paid me retroactively. My first check was 6 weeks worth of unemployment, basically just enough to pay my rent (Thank Gods!) and at that moment was entirely worth it.

The only tip I can give you is to keep going. They don't ask you to jump through too many hoops, but it does take quite awhile. Be patient. I know it hurts to be hoping for money that they say you are entitled to, only to find out it will be yet another two weeks...AGAIN.

The paperwork is in swahili and it's hard to understand when they start talking about 'quarterly earnings' and such. There are people at the office that will help you, if you really can't get through it. Unbelievably enough, the people that I always spoke to were very nice and extremely helpful.

Once you have the approval letter it will tell you what to do. Here in Michigan you have to call an automated system called MARVIN. You have to call on a certain day, between certain times. I don't know if this is the same for each state. But, keep calling. Even if it says you're approved and you don't get a dollar amount, keep calling on your day and time, because for each time you call, you will get paid for those weeks.

I set up an online account here:

Now, in doing so, I was able to monitor everything that was happening on my account AND I found something even cooler than that.

My original day to call was every other Wednesday between 3-4 pm. If you use the online service, you don't have to wait until your assigned day, you can file the Monday of the week you are supposed to call between 7 am - 7 pm. Therefore, you get paid earlier, so, if you were to file on Wednesday, you wouldn't get your payment until Friday or Saturday. This way, you can file on Monday and get your payment by Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.

On that website you can change how you want to get paid, direct deposit or debit card and it keeps a running list of your payment dates, payments and how many you have left before you run out.

Also, if you have already run out your first claim, you can go here:

Everything is very simple and once you are in the program's system from your original claim, there is nothing else you have to do. Just keep certifying.

I wanted to include a state by state database, also, so if you are having trouble filing or not sure where to file in your state, go here:

Remember: Don't give up. It WILL pay off. And even if you go back to work before you get your first payment, keep going, they still owe you for the time you weren't working.

Good Luck!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

For all those mommies who write in their spare time...

I know... who has spare time, right?
But, one night I was sitting around once again, dreaming of becoming an author and decided to search the web for publishers.
Oh, I have many 'manuscripts' some dating back as far as 1993 and I always thought it would be fun to see if they are actually good enough to get published. Sadly, I know they are not, nor do I have the time or the patience to edit, edit, edit.
But, I did find this link, and even though I haven't tried them out, everything seems to be pretty much Legit, not like those places that tell you you are getting published, but you have to buy the book...psha!
I just thought some others might be interested in checking it out.